8 Tips for Moving With Kids: Making a Stress-Free Transition 

Moving is stressful for everyone involved, but it can be incredibly challenging when you have kids. As parents, we want to make sure our children are happy and comfortable during this transition, but it can be difficult to know how to support them in the best way. Each child is unique and requires different preparation and support depending on their age and needs. However, some general tips can help make the move less stressful for you and your kids.

Communicate early and often

One of the most important things you can do when moving with kids is to communicate with them early and often. Talk to your kids about the move as soon as possible, no matter their age. Even two- or three-year-olds can understand they’re about to leave one home for another, although the true depth of that change may not sink in until later.

Make it clear why this moving is happening–military relocation, new job, divorce, be closer to family, etc. Give them whatever details you can, like the timeline of the move, where you’ll be living, and what will be happening in the coming days or weeks. Be open to any questions they have. The older your children, the more you can tell them.

Children thrive on routine and familiarity, so leaving their home and all that is familiar to them can be overwhelming. That’s especially true if they have a large social group, if the move coincides with another big life change, or if they have never moved. Let them know you’re available to talk or answer their questions anytime.

Keep the kids updated as moving day closes in. This will help them feel more prepared and give them time to adjust to the idea. The house will change around them as their artwork comes off the fridge and boxes start to stack in corners. Feelings can change as the move begins to look more real. Regularly check in with how they are doing, and even though you’re juggling numerous tasks, make some time for the family.

Involve kids in the move

Kids often feel like they have no control, especially during a move. Finding ways to give them a sense of ownership and control over their new home can anchor them in turbulent times.

Exactly what they can do depends on their age and maturity. However, even young children can help with packing boxes or choosing items to donate. If you’re selling the home, ask for their help keeping it neat. Perhaps give them a specific chore to do every night before bedtime.

For older kids, why not show them any homes you’re looking at renting or buying? Let them come along to see the best candidates. Asking their opinion on the house (even if the final say is obviously yours) makes them feel like their voice is being heard and considered in this big life change.

Let them pick out what they want to sell if you’re having a moving sale. Motivate the older children by letting them keep the money from whatever their belongings sell. Encourage them to save the funds to buy something for their new room.

Give them something they control

Kids feel like they’re losing control during this time, so it’s important to give them something a sense of control back. This could be letting them pack a special box with items that are important to them. Maybe they get to decide what items go in which boxes or what color their labels will be.

Perhaps it’s letting the kid(s) decide which room in the new home is theirs–if they can handle the discussion with their siblings. Let them have a say in decorating their new room or choosing the color for the walls. This will make them feel more invested in the move and excited about their new space.

Tour the new town

If possible, take a trip to the new town before the move. Show your kids around and point out fun places they can visit, such as parks or ice cream shops. Let them see that new and exciting things are waiting for them in their new hometown.

Depending on the time of year and the local regulations, school-age children might be able to tour their new school or preschool program. Even if you can’t go inside, drive by to show them what it looks like.

If you can’t physically visit the town, do some research online together. Look up fun activities and attractions that your kids might enjoy. Make a plan two or three weeks after the official move to check out one of these new attractions. The family will likely welcome an unpacking break by this time in the move! This will give everyone something to look forward to and help ease any anxieties the kids may have about the move.

Schedule some adult time

Setting aside adult time during the moving process is critical for managing stress. You need to take a break and recharge, too. Hire a babysitter for a few hours or ask family members to watch the kids while you and your partner go out for dinner.

Taking time for yourself will help you relax and set a good example for your kids. They’ll see that taking a break and prioritizing self-care during stressful times is okay.

And then, there are just times when you need the kids out of the way so you can downright focus on the critical moving tasks. This is especially true when you have younger children, like toddlers and preschoolers, who have a knack for twenty questions and being in the way at the wrong time. Consider arranging for someone to watch your children on the big packing day, even if for a few hours.

Set expectations for moving day

Moving day can be scary for kids because they don’t know what to expect. Strange people will be coming in and out of the house; their beloved toys and items are being tucked into boxes and loaded away on a truck. Many kids struggle with a sense of time, especially when younger, so it’s hard for them to understand they will see these items again.

Explain what will happen on a moving day in an age-appropriate way. Let them know when the movers will arrive, what they’ll be doing, and where their items will go. Reassure the kids that their things are being taken care of and will be seen again in just a few days.

Let the kids pre-pack their travel bags so their favorite stuffed animals or pajamas aren’t accidentally boxed away. Younger children can help select the clothes and toys they want to take, while older kids can do it themselves.

On the big day, younger kids may love playing in empty moving boxes set aside and out of the way for that expressed purpose. It may also be easier to ask a friend or family member to watch the kids so they can be out of the way. If they need to say goodbye, let them come towards the end of packing day.

With all the commotion happening in your home that day, make the kids feel important by assigning a specific responsibility. This could be as simple as asking them to make sure all the lights are turned off in their old room or keeping an eye on their favorite toy. Maybe they’re in charge of holding the tape until a grown-up needs it or handing out snacks or water during the day.

Older children could be in charge of comforting and looking after the family pet, which distracts them from how they feel and can be soothing.

The more mature the child, the more significant the task can be. Teenagers can be responsible for labeling boxes or helping unpack in the new home.

Re-establish routines early

Resume your familiar bedtime routines, meal times, and activities as soon as possible, even if you’re in temporary housing. This familiarity comforts children who are adjusting to their new environment.

There is so much to set up in your new home, but prioritizing the kids’ rooms may be worth it. It’s how they realize this is home when they see their bed and toys unboxed and back out again. It has the added benefit of giving them a safe space to play as you set up the kitchen, living room, and other bedrooms.

Join a club or team

Friendships and social groups are particularly important to older kids. Get them involved in activities they enjoy, like joining a sports team or signing up for a club at school, so they can meet kids with common interests. If it’s summer, look for local summer camps as soon as you know you’re moving. Find ones within your school district to increase the chances your kids will meet others from the same school. That can ease some of the stress of their first day at a new school.

For younger children, consider enrolling them in a playgroup or daycare once you’ve moved. This gives them a chance to socialize with kids their age and start building new friendships, and for you to meet area families.

Final words on moving with kids

Remember to be patient as the kids adjust to the move. It may take time for them to feel comfortable in their new surroundings. Keep communication open, and let them know you’re there to support them. With time, your kids will see their new home as a place they belong.

By following these tips and providing your kids with the support they need, you can make the transition smoother for the whole family.